Being Yourself, or How To Find Your Purpose In Life

“It is the first of all problems for a man to find out what kind of work he is to do in this universe.” – Thomas Carlyle.

Have you ever had the thought “What am I here for?”, or any of its endless variations: “Who am I?”; “What’s my purpose in life?”; “Where do we come from and for what reason?”; “What’s it all about?”; or just simply: “Why?”?

These are questions most of us will get round to asking, sooner or later, although we probably don’t expect to receive any kind of definitive answer. After all, who knows? Ah, the mystery of life…

Or…maybe our life’s purpose isn’t such a mystery. Could it be that the answer has been right in front of us, all along? That, in fact, it’s obvious?

It is.

Your mind has probably swapped “What’s my purpose in life?” for a different thought now. “Who died and made you know-it-all?”, perhaps. Hopefully you’ll indulge me and keep reading, because my life’s purpose in this particular moment is to write about life’s purpose.

The reason I know that, is because it’s what I most enjoy, and it’s what I think the world needs to hear. Therein lies the not-so-secret secret.

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” – Rumi

Have you noticed that the best times in life – those where you feel most alive, lost in the moment, with a deep sense of excitement, interest, peace, and timelessness – are the ones where you’re doing what you truly love, whatever that happens to be? Not what the world tells you you should love, but what you truly love. I don’t think that’s an accident. I think it’s a sign.

We all love to do something – at least one thing, and usually more. However, we don’t always associate the things we love with the things we feel we should be doing. Many of us therefore go through life not doing the things we love, and even less often incorporating them into our lives on a daily basis. When we apply for jobs, we’re used to matching our skills, knowledge and experience to prospective jobs in the market – rather than our delights and talents - and we end up considering ourselves lucky if we happen to find work that we genuinely enjoy.

Those of us lucky enough to be in the position of loving what we do – whether that’s a job, or whatever else we do on a daily basis - will understand the difference between the satisfaction of using our skills, and the joy of using our talents. However, even the use of our talents isn’t enough if the environment in which we’re using them doesn’t fit.

In terms of the world of work, I’ve been in both places. I was chosen – after a highly competitive selection process by one of the UK’s most successful retailers – to train as a manager. Their aim was to recruit graduates with an aptitude for a high-flying managerial career. But in a highly corporate, commercial environment, I felt entirely out of place, and wondered if perhaps management was the wrong path for me. Just a couple of years later, as a manager in the charitable sector, I knew I’d come home. My talents – at least some of them – had met the right environment for me, and I stopped floundering, and started flying.

There was one other piece of the puzzle which neatly fell into place with my move into the not-for-profit sector. I was doing something I felt needed to be done. Not that there wasn’t a need for my previous job; it’s just that that need was never clear to me. When I saw a need that was clear, I was able to slip into a place which felt as comfortable as clothes that had been made to fit.

“Where your talents and the needs of the world cross, there lies your vocation.” – Aristotle

That’s what it can be like for all of us – not just in the world of work, but in the whole of our lives.

Your job, your hobbies, your dreams – there is a way to find the ones that fit, and step right into them.

Here’s how.

1. Find your particular, unique talents by paying attention to what you love.

Become acutely aware of your special gifts and talents. They aren’t hard to find – because they are rooted in what you truly love. The things you love are the signs that guide you to what you were designed to do. If you’re a believer, you might think of them as a direct message from God. If you’re not, you can see them as signals from your DNA. Either way, they are there to be heard, loud and clear. I’m not talking about skills here – those are secondary, because they can almost always be learned. I’m talking about your innate gifts, which are inextricably linked with your greatest loves. You may be doubting me. “I love the theatre, but I know I can’t act!” Maybe not. But could you study Shakespeare? Could you work in a theatre? Could you teach others playwriting? Could you volunteer as a guide at the birthplace of one of your literary heroes? Could you just make sure you frequented great performances on a regular basis? Talents aren’t always obvious, and it’s a mistake to jump to conclusions about how they need to be expressed. If you really love something, you have a talent, even if it’s only in seeing that thing in the particular way that only you can. That’s no small thing. Your purpose could be to share that vision with the rest of us, or just to make sure that you build lots of time for it in your own life, so that you’ll be happy. To be truly happy, you must do what you love.

2. Decide where you see a need in the world.

This shows you where to direct your talents, and your time. This isn’t necessarily about a moral judgement. Not everyone’s work in this world is to fill an obvious, “worthy” need. Some of us want to help people out of poverty and degradation, and some of us want to make them laugh. Some of us want to save the world, and some of us want to save vintage motor cars. People who do these things – if they’re doing them because they keenly see the need (“those people need help!”; “those people could do with a smile, and I love the applause”; “those cars are too beautiful to let fall into ruin!”) – are meeting their own needs by fulfilling the needs of the world as they see them. Don’t do what you think you “should” do. If you’re finding this hard, here’s a tip: make a list of what you think others – government, big companies, people in general – “should” be doing. What do you habitually notice that the world needs, and isn’t getting? There’s your niche.

3. Decide on the right environment for you.

As I mentioned above, in the wrong environment, I felt my heart sinking like a stone. In a different environment, I was able to fulfil the same role with a light heart and a peaceful mind. What’s the right environment for you? Indoors/outdoors? Busy/quiet? Full of people/isolated? Surrounded by technology/just the basics? There is no right or wrong answer here, except your honest answer. If that doesn’t come quickly, make a list of all the places you’ve spent a significant amount of time in your life: houses; schools; workplaces; holiday destinations. Then rank them in terms of preference. Where were you happiest, and most comfortable? Why? Look for themes, and learn what environments are most appealing to you.

4. Seek out ideas to bring them together.

Here’s where your purpose really starts to take shape. Brainstorm as many ways as you can think of where your talents can come together with the world’s needs, in an environment that’s appealing to you. When you’ve listed all the realistic options, list the unrealistic ones. Then the really bizarre ones. Be creative and uncensored – just for now. Ask your friends. Ask strangers. Research in the library and online. Your task here is to come up with as many different options as you can. Then start narrowing them down to options which genuinely appeal to you. The shape of your life’s purpose is beginning to appear…and an outline is all you need. Craft that outline into a goal – or goals – which bring together your talents, environmental preferences, and perceptions of the world’s needs. If the goals are vague, or you feel uncertain of them, that doesn’t matter. They will serve their purpose – I promise.

5. Take action – in any direction.

There is no substitute for taking action. Don’t wait until you have the perfect picture of your life’s purpose. Staying at home and visualising your ideal job, or a purpose-filled life, won’t bring it to you unless you step out of the front door, and start moving. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, or where you’re going, because something magical happens when you get in motion. As soon as you start moving, you’ll notice a million signposts along the way. Even heading up a dead end gives you useful information about what doesn’t work, and about where to look next time. Action makes things happen – even happy accidents. Take your goals, get out there and start heading generally in their direction, and you’ll start seeing things that’ll make you curious, and send you off exploring other useful avenues. You’ll bump into strangers who won’t remain strangers for long. Your goals will begin to take on an even finer shape, and the vocations and avocations which will make you truly happy will become clearer all the while.

Look at you – you’re living your life on purpose.

Good luck!

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfilment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as his specific opportunity.” – Victor Frankl

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