Photo courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you’ve just lost your job – or are facing that prospect – it’s not unusual for panic to set in. If that happens, you may be in need of some immediate support to help you figure out a game plan.  That’s what this extract from Module 1 of my Vital Vocation Online Coaching Programme is all about.

First Aid For Emergency Situations

If you’ve just lost your job unexpectedly, chances are that you’re feeling pretty low. Your first instinct may be to think “why me?”, especially if there are others in your workplace who weren’t similarly affected. Although you may realise that many people look back on unplanned redundancies as useful turning points in life that led them on to bigger and better things, that’s cold comfort if you’re facing the loss of a regular pay cheque and still have commitments to keep.

Consider this section “first aid for fear”, or your “emergency job-loss action plan”. Take a deep breath, sit down with a pen and your Vital Vocation Journal, and start making some notes. In seven steps, you can be back in control. Your immediate new job is to find a new job – go at it with a firm commitment to yourself, as though you were your own boss!

7 Step Emergency Job-Loss Action Plan

1) Don’t panic.

Easy to say, I know, but you’re about to sort out what to do, step-by-step. Take your time over this, and you’ll feel much better at the end of it.

2) Consider your immediate priorities.

For most people, this will relate to their finances. Unless you have a nest-egg which enables you to survive comfortably without work for a few weeks, the chances are you’ll need to maximise your income and minimise your outgoings. Write each of these as a heading in your journal, and start writing ideas under each.

Under maximise your income you might write: “sell stuff on eBay”, “apply for relevant benefits”, “cash-in investments”; under minimise your outgoings you might write: “take a mortgage holiday”; “move into shared accommodation”; “search for budget deals on the Internet”.

For each of the sub-actions you’ve written, make a note of what one thing you need to do next in order to move that action forward, and a date by which you’ll do it. For example, if you want to apply for benefits, but aren’t sure what you’re entitled to (and you’re a UK resident), you may write “phone local Citizens Advice Bureau for information – Monday at 9am”.

If you live in America, you might want to investigate options such as Welfare Programmes and eligibility for Nutrition Assistance. Take your time over this step and try to include as many “next actions” – with deadlines - as possible. You’ll feel much better for knowing you’re doing something practical about your situation.

3) Take a self-inventory

Part of this programme is about making an inventory of your gifts, talents and skills in more detail and much more deeply, but as an immediate action, make a note in your journal of all the immediate skills you have and all the qualities you know you possess which could be attractive to future employers.

Try to stretch your imagination here. Don’t just write down skills you’ve used previously in work. Write down skills you know you have but which you haven’t yet had a chance to use in work. For example – can you drive? You may not have driven as part of your job, but nonetheless, if you’ve passed your driving test, that’s a skill you definitely have, and that can definitely be used in the workplace.

Also write down what general things you might consider doing now that you’re not tied to your previous job. Examples might include: doing temp work; applying for part-time jobs; volunteering until I find work; going freelance; going into business with other ex-colleagues.

4) Update your Curriculum Vitae

Sending unsolicited CVs to prospective employers isn’t a very effective way of finding work – unless you tailor your CV to the employer, and target employers based on a good fit for your skills. Make sure you at least have a template CV available, however, so you can tweak it when you need it.

Take time to think deeply about what to add to it, based on any recent learning or work experience. Make sure that, for each tailored CV, you include in the first few lines the information that’s most relevant to the employer you’re sending it to. Many CVs are only glanced at before they’re discarded – you’ll greatly increase your chances of making an impact if you think carefully about what to put at the very beginning.

5) Old Contacts: Don’t burn bridges

You may well be feeling very angry that you’ve lost your job. If you feel you’ve been genuinely badly treated by your employer, and that you have a case against them, then by all means seek out some good quality legal advice (you can get it free at the Citizens Advice Bureau service in the UK).

However, if you know you’ve been treated legally, don’t let your initial anger get in the way of keeping some useful contacts warm. If you can, send a note to your previous employer – perhaps to your own manager, or to the personnel department – saying how much you enjoyed working there and how much you learned from the experience. Try to do this as soon as possible after you leave. Be sure to include your up-to-date contact details, and an up-to-date CV.  You never know when these old contacts will come in handy again…

6) New Contacts: Build some new bridges

A huge number of job opportunities are encountered through the process of networking. It’s vitally important when you’re out of work to not let yourself become isolated. Make sure you keep up with as many of your old professional contacts as possible, and also make an effort to cultivate some new ones.  We’ll cover how to do this effectively in a later module.

Make sure you tell people you’re out of work and are actively looking. That includes friends, family, ex-colleagues, and even casual acquaintances. You’ll be surprised at how many of them will subsequently keep you in mind, and will direct you to job opportunities they become aware of.

It’s useful to prepare what you’ll say to someone who asks “what are you doing now?”. You don’t want to mumble and bluster; you want to be able to say something clear and memorable like “I’m an advertising executive currently between jobs and looking for a new challenge”. Don’t sound apologetic – sound enthusiastic.

7) Take Action!

Armed with your updated CV, your refreshed self-knowledge, your growing network of contacts, and (hopefully) a calmer demeanour, you can now start the process of seeking work.

In your journal, make a note of the methods which you feel able to immediately concentrate on. Check out my “Best & Worst Ways To Find A New Job” videos, but bear in mind that if you need to find work quickly for financial reasons, it’s fine to go for a “good enough job” rather than your “ideal career” – to start with, at least!

A combination of up to four job-search methods is ideal. Examples include: signing up at temping agencies; signing up at employment agencies; signing up at statutory job services; joining pre-existing job-clubs; setting up your own job-club (more on this  in a later module); looking on the Internet and signing up for relevant online job pages; sending your tailored CV to relevant prospective employers; placing an order for the local jobs newspaper; exploring options for retraining.

Whether you’ve just lost your job or not, here’s something to bear in mind as you move forward into the next few modules: The Vital Vocation Online Coaching Programme is all about giving yourself options – it may feel like the job market is closing doors in your face; but you’re about to open up many new doors, windows, and escape hatches!

Perhaps the hardest thing to maintain when faced with a difficult or disheartening work situation is hope. Well, there’s nothing but hope – and you’re about to find out why.

In Your Next Module…

Now you’re ready to move on to Module 2, where we’ll be taking a closer look at you and what makes you the unique individual you are – because that’s the individual around whom a whole Vital Vocation is about to be built…

***Are you interested in participating in the full programme?***

You can do so by signing up at the Vital Vocation website.  In 12 easy lessons, I’ll personally guide you through the process of finding, or creating, your ideal work.  All for just $20!

Not what we mean by "primal fitness"! Picture by Wikimedia Commons.

Primal fitness is all about moving your body in the ways that nature intended it to be moved, so that you can build strength, stamina, and flexibility.  Although some basic equipment can be used, it’s possible (and desirable) to do a whole lot just using your own body weight.  I subscribe to the workout principles of Mark Sisson (of Primal Blueprint fame) who advises constructing a fitness program around three components:

The Primal Blueprint Fitness Pyramid. Courtesy of www.marksdailyapple.com

Of course, for many people, the thought of constructing any fitness program is scary – particularly if, like me, you have painful memories of horrendous P.E. classes as school which left you feeling like an uncoordinated, unfit lummox and taught you absolutely nothing about how to get fitter.

So I’ve devised a simple three-stage plan – Your Primal Fitness Plan – which will take you from a standing start to super fit.  There’s no set length of time required for each stage.  Start slow, build your fitness level gradually, and increase your level of intensity within each stage whenever you feel like you need more of a challenge.  Stick with that stage until you feel comfortable with moving on to the next, then apply the same principle – start slow, increase gradually, then decide when to move on.

And remember – the goal is never to act like you’re already super fit, if you’re not.  Don’t worry if you have to slow down at any point, or do fewer repetitions than are suggested.  Some days you’ll have less energy and will have to work at a lower level of intensity; other days you’ll have more and will surprise yourself at how much you can do.  It’s all good.  The goal is to feel like you’re challenging yourself a bit, so that your fitness level builds – never to beat yourself up.

Let’s get started!

***

STAGE ONE - The 12 Minute Break-In Plan

Courtesy of www.drbriffa.com

This stage incorporates the first two elements of the Fitness Pyramid into one workout (we’re leaving sprinting until you’ve built a basic fitness level).  It’s from Dr. John Briffa‘s excellent book Waist Disposal, and – once you’ve mastered it - will only take 12 minutes to complete.  Do this workout every other day and take a brisk walk on alternate days, and you’ll be amazed at how much you can do and at how quickly your fitness level will build.

Dr. Briffa says:

It is possible to improve the look and condition of the body significantly, quite quickly and easily with relatively low time-investment, too. This is a 12-minute daily routine that is mainly resistance-based, but includes some aerobic exercise, too. It can be performed in a space no bigger than a beach towel and requires little or no special equipment (just dumbbells or a resistance band). If you do nothing other than this 12 minute routine each day, you will still be able to improve your strength and physique to a tangible extent.

The session is made up of two six-minute sections. The first section focuses on resistance exercises for the upper body. The second six minutes are designed to strength-train the legs and provide a brief aerobic workout. Google to find out the form and technique for the suggested exercises.

a) The First Six Minutes

Don’t forget to warm up (marching or jogging lightly on the spot for a minute or two will help warm your body up and get the blood pumping).  Then, using your dumbbells or resistance band, do as many repetitions of each exercise as you can within one minute. Start with light weights and a light pace, and gradually increase these as your strength improves.  Needless to say, you shouldn’t start with weights that are so heavy that you risk injury.  You should be able to complete all the repetitions – just.

Minute 1 – Chest. Pick an exercise you like e.g. press-ups, or chest presses or flys using dumbbells.
Minute 2 – Back. Again, pick a back exercise that works for you, such as one or two-arm rows using dumbbells.
Minute 3 - Shoulders. Shoulder presses.
Minute 4 – Biceps. Biceps curls using dumbbells or a resistance band.
Minute 5 – Triceps. Triceps kick-backs with dumbbells or band, or triceps dips on a chair.
Minute 6 – Abdominals.  Sit-ups, crunches, whatever works.

b) The Second Six Minutes

Start jogging or marching on the spot at a pace that works for you.  After one-and-a-half minutes, perform as many squats as you can in 30 sec0nds. Then jog/march for another one-and-a-half minutes. Then squat for 30 seconds. Then jog/march for another one-and-a-half minutes. Then squat.  Finish with some basic stretches – and you’re done!

***

STAGE TWO – Primal Blueprint Fitness

Courtesy of www.primalblueprint.com

This stage will take you – at your own pace – to as high a fitness level as you want to get.  In fact, you never have to move beyond this stage, unless you want to.  By increasing your level of intensity within each movement – sprinting faster; doing your body-weight exercises faster or with added resistance; challenging yourself more during aerobic activities by varying what you do on a daily basis – you’ll never get bored, and never get complacent.  This stage covers all three elements of the Fitness Pyramid.

a) Move Frequently At A Slow Pace

For this element, you can carry on walking, or start adding in some more basic aerobic activity – biking, hiking, swimming, step class – whatever you like.  Try to incorporate some aerobic activity into most days, but remember to avoid falling into the trap of “chronic cardio” which can do you more harm than good.  So no marathons are necessary – either on the road, or the treadmill!

b) Lift Heavy Things

To build this element, you’re going to start using your own body-weight in a series of four essential movements: the press-up; the pull-up; the squat; and the plank.  In the videos below, Mark Sisson guides you through how to progress in each movement.  Start at a level that challenges you without making you feel like you’re going to die, and progress in the ways suggested.

You should do a session of these movements three times a week.  You can find out more about Mark’s rationale for these movements here.

Press-Up

Pull-Up

Squat

Plank

c) Sprint

Occasional sprinting is a great way to build cardiovascular fitness and stimulate fat-burning and muscle-building hormones.  It also mimics the kind of movement our ancestors would have had to make in dangerous circumstances (here’s where a hairy mammoth or sabre-toothed tiger would have come in handy).

Sprinting only needs to be incorporated into your weekly routine once - twice at most – but it will have a significant impact on your fitness level and fat-burning capacity.  You can add sprints in to almost any aerobic workout.

Here – again from Mark Sisson – is how to do it:

Sprint & Stretch

***

STAGE THREE – Maximum Capacity!

Courtesy of www.maxcapacitytraining.com

This is strictly for people who’ve already built a fitness level, and who want a bit of a challenge.  I suggest you head on over to Max Capacity Training, where you’ll find a full 12-week workout programme, which is designed to be done three times a week (they have a book available, too).  Each routine takes 16 minutes to complete, and comprises of a series of body-weight exercises done at a fast pace, with minimum resting.

Lunges. www.maxcapacitytraining.com

Each routine is accompanied by drawings of how to do each move (example above) and a handy video workout timer which you can use to help you keep pace as the workout progresses.  You’re also told how often to do each move during the allotted time.  As an example, day one involves:

• Doing as many squats as you can in 50 seconds
• Resting for 10 seconds
• Doing as many push-ups as you can in 50 seconds
• Resting for 10 seconds
• Doing as many lunges as you can in 50 seconds
• Resting for 10 seconds
• Doing as many plank bridges as you can in 50 seconds
• Resting for 10 seconds
• Repeating the whole routine 3 more times.

Phew!  I’m breaking a sweat just thinking about it – and each day gets progressively more challenging.  It’s fun to have such a well-constructed body-weight routine available, since you don’t have to spend any time figuring out which exercises to do, or how to “balance” them – it’s all done for you.  But again, I emphasise – it’s probably best not to jump into stage three unless you’re already relatively fit.

But once you are fit – and you soon will be with Your Primal Fitness Plan - knock yourself out!  Well, perhaps not literally…

What’s your experience of Primal Fitness?  Share your experiences, ideas and information below – and join the Your Primal Life discussion!

My mission in life is to help YOU do what you were designed for.  Don’t forget to sign up for my free Lifecrafting Newsletter for more information (you’ll also get a free copy of my e-book ‘How To Find Your Purpose in Life’).  And if you’d like to find your ideal job, check out my online career-creation programme Vital Vocation - 12 sessions of virtual coaching from me for just $20!
Twitter: @cormackcarr

Take that, crappy economy!

I’m Ready To Start A Revolution

It was watching and reading the news that finally did it.  No matter where you turn, the news about the global economy just isn’t getting any better.

Whether it’s the UK government admitting that Plan A in deficit reduction isn’t working; or the Australian foreign office warning that we’re teetering on the brink of another global recession; or the United Nations and International Monetary Fund slashing their forecasts for world economic growth – none of it is encouraging.

In fact, it’s downright depressing.  Little wonder then that unemployment levels are rising, and a recent study noted that the recession has caused a sharp upswing in mental health problems.

I know that many have been left wondering what to do about it all - including me.

I’m lucky enough to have a career I love, although I’m by no means immune to the uncertainty we’re all facing – but I do know something about what you and I can do to make things better.

The most empowering thing any human being on this planet can do right now to tackle the recession is to find or create their ideal work.

Finding Your Ideal Work Will Kick The Recession Where It Hurts

Let's give the recession the red card...

Finding your ideal work - what I call your vital vocation – may not turn the global economic meltdown around overnight (although if enough of us do it, it probably will!) but it can definitely turn your life around, whatever your current circumstances.

In fact, it can make a powerful difference on a number of levels:

• Finding or creating your ideal work is liberating: in the face of seeming powerlessness, you can exercise the power you do have, and take back your independence from the faceless money-mongers;
• Finding or creating your ideal work is energizing: regardless of the state of the economy, work you love is its own reward, whatever salary you’re on;
• Finding or creating your ideal work is proactive: you don’t have to wait to find out what’s going to happen to you; you can get out there and make it happen for you;
• Finding or creating your ideal work can change the world: the more of us who are out there finding (or creating) work we love, the bigger the financial boost to the economy.  Alone we can do very little – together, we can do a great deal;
• Finding or creating your ideal work is radical: it’s sad to say, but most people won’t do it, because it seems to be too “out there”.  Will you be one of them – or will you choose to take a stand and make this investment in yourself?
• Finding or creating your ideal work is possible: I know it is, because I’ve done it, and I see many others doing it every single day.  If you’re reading this, I want YOU to be one of them.

Sounds good, doesn’t it?  The only problem is – how?

How To Stop Procrastinating and Start Finding Your Vital Vocation

Last year, I developed my Vital Vocation Online Coaching Programme, which guides participants through the process of finding – or creating – their ideal work.

Comprised of 12 modules, delivered entirely online and containing a powerful mix of written, video, and participatory self-coaching material, the programme can help anyone find the work they were born to do.  Job-hunters, career-changers, small business builders, students, the unemployed, stay-at-home parents….anyone – whether they already know what they want to do, or not.  It comes with a free introductory video series, too.

My purpose back then was to make  my services available to a wider audience, including those people who couldn’t afford (or make time for) one-to-one career coaching from me.  Since its launch, I’ve been thrilled by the great feedback the programme has received, and I’ve felt very proud indeed as I’ve watched the participants walk through the process of changing their lives and careers for the better.

But it isn’t enough for me anymore.

The gloomy economic news this past week has left me feeling in turns despondent, alarmed, frustrated, exhausted - and most of all angry.

Angry that we’ve got ourselves into this state.  Angry that the choices of a privileged few have had such a detrimental effect on the lives of so many.  Angry that our governments aren’t able - or willing – to act radically enough to affect real change.

But anger is only helpful if we use it to burn up our own inertia.  On the other side of my anger, I was left wondering – what can I do?

So I set myself a new goal. 

I’m going to help one million people live a primal life by finding their ideal work.  Because if I can do that, I’ll have fulfilled my own vital vocation.

Your ideal work is on the horizon...

I Want To Help You – And Another 999,999 People

How will I achieve my goal?

1. By continuing to make available my free introductory five-video series The Top 10 Best & Worst Ways To Find A New Job.  It was only ever meant to be a time-limited offer in the run-up to the full programme, but so many people have downloaded the videos and told me they’ve found them helpful, I’ve decided to keep them up.  Forever.  Or until no one wants them anymore.  Whichever comes first…
2. By taking as many people as I can through the Vital Vocation Online Coaching Programme.  To make it accessible to everyone, I’ve dropped the price of the whole 12-module programme by 85%.  That’s from $127 (which was reasonable in the first place) to $20 (which is an absolute steal).  I’m just charging enough to cover the cost of hosting the website and of keeping the programme updated with current material.

In the case of that second point, my own financial advisers, colleagues and coaching peers think I’m crazy, because I’m undercutting myself by a huge margin.  “Charge what your time’s worth!” they say, or “Charge based on the work that you’ve put in to it!”

Well, I’ve put in a whole lot.  The programme took more than a year to develop, write, film, and encode – so I’m definitely not charging based on what I’ve put in.  And as for what my time’s worth?  I commonly charge five times the new programme price for a single face-to-face coaching session.  And this programme represents the equivalent of twelve!

But, you know what?  I don’t care.  What I care about is fulfilling my mission in life, which is to help YOU to fulfil yours.

When it comes to making a living, that means – more now than ever before – finding your ideal work.  I believe, with all my heart, that you making full use of your gifts and talents, and doing the work you love – the work the world needs from you - is the thing that really will change things for the better.  For all of us.  And the recession be damned!

Are You With Me?

If you are, you can help in at least one of two ways:

1. Tell the world about my goal. Send them to this blog post, or straight to www.vitalvocation.com. Spread the news through social media (you can use the share buttons below). By sharing, you can help me help 1 million people change their lives for the better.
2. Join the Vital Vocation Online Coaching Programme here – and find your own ideal work.  We need you!  If you’re not quite ready to commit to that yet, don’t forget you can sign up for the free videos at any time.

Together, we can take this recession down.

I remember once being summoned to a pretty high-powered meeting, to discuss an important contract that was being delivered by the organisation I worked for at the time. It was one of those meetings which everyone – particularly my boss -  took very seriously; the only viable excuse for missing it would be that you had been beamed up to Mars.

When the agenda and papers for the meeting arrived, my heart sank. I could tell at once that I’d neither be able to contribute to, nor learn anything from, most of the three hour time slot required. The area I had to report on would last for ten minutes at most, and was towards the end of the agenda, so I got ready to spend the best part of 160 minutes nervously awaiting my turn to speak, worrying about all the work I could usefully be doing instead.

Then I decided to take a risk. I got in touch with the meeting organiser, and confidently declared: “I’ve got another appointment with an important contact at the same time as the meeting you’ve invited me to, so I won’t be able to attend until the last 30 minutes. Can you let me know if you require anything from me before the meeting, and also exactly what you’d like from me when I’m there?”.

I nervously awaited a response, sure the ground would open up and swallow me for my temerity. When the response came, it was clear and to the point: “That’s fine; your thoughts on item 4 would be welcome, and if the report could be a verbal one with a short written paper for people to take away, that would be helpful.” Phew!

Did I lie in order to get out of the meeting? No. As it turned out, I did have an appointment with someone important: myself.

I used the time to put together a short but comprehensive report for the meeting, to give some considered thought to exactly how I’d present it, and to complete various other tasks that were hanging over me. When I got to the meeting, I was more relaxed and attentive, and able to contribute far more as a result.

Don’t be afraid to make an appointment with yourself when you need to. I’m presuming that you regularly give up huge chunks of your time to the important people in your life – just make sure that you’re one of them, and that you’re getting a decent slice of the pie!

“What I know is that everyone lives on their own planet in their own time zone and they don’t pay close attention to yours. You might find this really depressing…I find it really liberating and useful. It means you can go somewhere and come back and the world won’t have crumbled without you.”

~ Lesley Garner

What to do with your appointment with you? Well, of course there’s always work to be done! However, here are some other refreshing ideas:

Read some great poetry

Make your own home spa

Take a really good walk

© Brian Cormack Carr, 2011

I’m delighted to announce the launch of my new information product – the Vital Vocation Online Coaching Programme.

In 12 easy but powerful lessons, the programme guides job hunters, career changers, and small business builders – in fact, anyone with a dream and a desire to make a good living – through the detailed and empowering process of finding or creating their ideal work.

A combination of in-depth written material, motivational audio-visual training, powerful exercises, revealing self-coaching questions, and the opportunity to interact with others on the path to a  “vital vocation” makes this one of the most dynamic career support tools available today.

You can find out more by visiting the Vital Vocation Online Coaching Programme website at www.vitalvocation.com, or by watching the introductory video, below.

It is my hope that many of you will join me in this programme, and find your own way to an enjoyable career, and a life of balance and fulfilment…

© Brian Cormack Carr, 2011

A preview from my Vital Vocation Online Coaching Programme which launches this Sunday, 12th June. Part Two will be available then and will of course be featured in the programme itself…

© Brian Cormack Carr, 2011

Are you a job-hunter, career-changer, or business-builder?  Would you like to be?

Do you want to find your ideal work – work that’s founded on what you most enjoy doing, and which enables you to make a great living whilst still having time to play?

Are you at a career crossroads?  Would you like to fully explore the potential of your career – and your life?

If so, then The Vital Vocation Online Coaching Programme is for you.

After listening to feedback from my clients and readers, I’ve designed an online coaching programme which will guide you through the step-by-step process of finding your own “vital vocation” – a career which gives you energy and enthuiasm, instead of draining them away.

The 12-module programme consists of a combination of written material, motivational and instructional videos, powerful exercises, self-coaching questions, and the opportunity to interact with a community of like-minded people.  It’s delivered week-by-week to your inbox, over a period of 11 weeks.

It’s based on the material I use for coaching my one-to-one clients, but will be available to you at a fraction of the price of the equivalent number of private coaching sessions, and in a format which is easy to use and entirely flexible.

It launches on June 12th!

I’ll be in touch soon with more information. Get ready to thrive through your career crisis and find your ideal work!

To your success…

© Brian Cormack Carr, 2011

Vilfredo Federico Damaso Pareto (15 July 1848 – 19 August 1923) was an Italian industrialist, sociologist, economist, and philosopher. He made several important contributions to economics, particularly in the study of income distribution and in the analysis of individuals’ choices. Pareto observed in 1906 that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the population (and that 20% of the pea pods in his garden contained 80% of the peas); and so the Pareto Principle was born.  The Pareto Principle (also known as ‘the 80-20 rule’, ‘the law of the vital few’, and ‘the principle of factor sparsity’) states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.

As chief executive of a charity, I’m very aware that around 80% of a voluntary organisation’s funding comes from around 20% of its funders.  Those of you who work in private business will recognise that around 80% of your profits derive from roughly 20% of your customers.

How does this help you free your time?  Well, in any list of ten things you have to do, it’s likely that two of them – once completed – will create more value for you than all the other eight put together.  By identifying and tackling those first, you can massively improve your outputs, and save time in the bargain.  It’s a principle that allows some people to appear hugely productive, even though they have no more hours in their day than you do.

Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, recognised this when he entreated his readers to “focus on the important and not the urgent”.  He illustrates his point using the Time Matrix, which divides all activities into one of four groups:

By focusing on activities in quadrant two – items that are important, but which have not yet become urgent – time spent in the other quadrants can be reduced or better managed, and productivity increased.  Of course, it’s impossible to completely eliminate time spent in these other quadrants, especially the first one, which represents events which are both important and urgent, such as sudden emergencies; but time spent in quadrant two can save you more time in the long run.

So the next time you’re overwhelmed by a long list of tasks to get through, and have limited time, ask yourself: “which of these are my vital few?”. Identify which 20% of the tasks are most important.  Get those done, and you’ll be able to tackle the rest with a greater sense of relaxation, safe in the knowledge that – even if you don’t get everything finished – you’ve already made really good use of your available time.

© Brian Cormack Carr, 2011

Here’s my response to a recent question about personality tests and their use in helping us to choose an appropriate career.

There are more Q&As on my YouTube channel.

Go here to read more about personality testing.

© Brian Cormack Carr, 2011

“It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.”
~ Benjamin Disraeli

Recently, I came across this interesting blog entry by Barbara Sher, in which she begins the process of “dissecting critics”; that is, figuring out why it is that some people – upon hearing about a great idea you’ve had, or exciting project you’ve started – will stick a pin in your enthusiasm almost as soon as look at you.

She argues that critics can be good (the kind that impart opinions and ideas that are genuinely useful and that can help you succeed) or bad (the kind that attack your idea out of mischief, or misinformation, because their egos are threatened by your potential success).

Interesting stuff, which set me to considering the role of critics in our lives, and how to deal with them.

I actually think that critics can fall into three broad categories: ‘good’, ‘bad’, and ‘well-meaning but misguided’. Let’s take a look at each:

Good Critics

“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.”
~Frank A. Clark

A good critic won’t treat you with kid gloves. They’re not people who’ll just nod and smile at everything you tell them, or who’ll assure you that everything you do is going to turn to gold. A good critic can be tough, and direct. People in this category genuinely want you to succeed, but if they can see a better way for you to achieve what you’re trying to achieve, they’ll tell you about it. If they’re an expert in the field that you are working or playing in, so much the better; the input of an expert can be astoundingly valuable, especially when you’re still a beginner.

They’ll help you understand the whys and wherefores of any mistakes you’ve made – or are about to make – and they’ll furnish you with fresh ideas and encouragement.

Of course, very good critics will do all that in ways that are respectful of your feelings. These are the critics you’ll want to cultivate in your life. They are the mentors who will generously share their hard-won knowledge to aid your success, and who will celebrate with you when you make progress.

Bad Critics

“Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain, and most fools do.”
~ Dale Carnegie

Bad critics range from the disinterested (those who are so self-centered they’ll brush your ideas off without really noticing if they’re any good or not, because they’re too busy focusing on themselves), to the destructive (those who don’t give a fig whether your endeavour is good or bad, but who want to stop you in your tracks nonetheless, because your success makes them feel diminished). Both are tricky to deal with, but deal with them you must.

In the case of the former, when it comes to seeking encouragement, they are best avoided. Don’t share with them anything you aren’t prepared to see dismissed out of hand. They may not be intentionally dismissive – and they may have many other good qualities and may even make good friends in some respects – but their narcissism means that they see the world as revolving around them, and unless your current project is part of their orbit, it hasn’t got a chance of registering with them.

The latter, too, are best avoided if possible; but of course, it isn’t always possible to get away from such unpleasant people. If you do come across someone who seems to be going all out to shoot you down in flames – just for the sake of it and without any real regard for the content of what you’re sharing with them – you need to activate the Bad Critic Survival Plan, which has four steps:

Step 1: Recognise that their negativity has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. For some reason, you bother them, and they themselves may not even understand why. Something about your idea, or perhaps about your enthusiasm, has made them uncomfortable, because it has threatened their sense of themselves. They believe that you getting a big slice of the pie leaves less for them, and they’re determined to slap it right out of your hand.

Step 2: Don’t be defensive. Defensiveness on your part gives the bad critic exactly what they want. If you show that you’re getting riled – even if you come back with a very logical, rational, and convincing defence – it’s one-up to them, because they know they’ve made target. They’re not going to be convinced by logic anyway – remember, they may not even be opposed to the content of what they’re criticising – and if they see that they’ve got to you, it’s a signal for them to move in for the kill.

Step 3: Invite them to explain. What? Invite more criticism? Yes. As hard as it might be to do, asking a bad critic to share more information with you – about what they’ve observed, and about what they’d suggest you do differently – can be helpful in at least three ways:
• Firstly, you may just learn something very useful from them. There could be something in what they say that you can use, if you get past your annoyance at them saying it. This also helps if you’ve misidentified them and they are in fact a good critic, but just appear bad because your feelings are hurt.
• Secondly, it can disarm them. If they’re simply trying to bring you down and instead of appearing downcast you appear genuinely interested, it’s one-up to you.
• Finally, it can wrong-foot them. If their criticism is built on shaky foundations, your questioning will start to push at the structure of their argument, and they won’t like it. The chances are, they’ll retreat, or will become so overtly critical in retaliation that they’ll start to look vaguely ridiculous – and they’ll know it.

Step 4: Walk away. If you’ve enacted Step 3 as effectively as possible, there’s a good chance that they’ll walk away from you. You’ll have shown them that their barbed words can’t hurt you, and since they will no longer be able to scent blood, they’ll move on; they may even actively avoid you if they think you’re going to start harassing them to share their criticism in great detail so that you can use the information to improve your chances! But even if that doesn’t happen, you can move yourself off their territory, and thus protect yourself from further harm.

One last thing to remember about bad critics: they are rarely experts. It just isn’t sensible to ask your curmudgeonly Auntie Mabel (the one who disapproves of everything you do) if she thinks it’s a good idea for you to quit your job in the city in order to retrain as a marine biologist. She may have a predictable opinion – “you’re too old, it’s too hard, you’ll never make a living” – but it’s probably not based on a realistic appraisal of the facts. How would she know? If you want to ask anyone, find and ask a marine biologist.

Critics Who Are Well-Meaning But Misguided

“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.”
~ Abraham Lincoln

What characterises a critic who is well-meaning but misguided? These are the people who may appear to be a bad critic – since their criticism is often based on discouragement – but who in fact actually have your best interests at heart (they think).  When they see you getting really high with an idea, and find themselves doubting the possibility of your turning that idea into reality, they’ll try to pull you back down to earth; sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously, but always with the motivation of keeping you “safe”.

The problem is, it doesn’t work. The reason they see your idea as impossible is that they’re struggling to conceive of how they would turn it into reality if they were in your place. They may even be thinking back to a time when they tried something similar, and failed, perhaps badly. It’s natural then that they want to stop you from making the same mistake, but in trying to stop you in your tracks, they’re neglecting to take full account of your own unique abilities. In fact, critics in this category are often people who struggle to see things from another’s point of view.

That can leave you feeling doubly deflated. They’ve pierced the bubble of your bright idea, and they’ve signalled to you that they don’t believe you’re fully capable. Ouch!

What makes dealing with this category of critic particularly troublesome is that they are often people who are very important in your life: parents, best friends, or significant others. You can usually tell a critic falls into this category when you feel very criticised by them, but are also 100% confident that they really do love and care for you. That’s something you definitely won’t be experiencing with a genuinely ‘bad’ critic.

Unfortunately, just because someone loves you, doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of trampling right across your dreams whilst believing they’re doing you a favour. Figuring out a response to this type of critic can be problematic, because as well as wanting to protect yourself from their criticism, you’ll almost certainly also want to spare their feelings. Figuring out a strategy that works is important, though; in a worst-case scenario, you may find yourself resenting them, perhaps even withdrawing from them.

If you think someone is coming from the “well-meaning but misguided” place, there are two broad ways of dealing with them:

1) Don’t tell them your idea until it’s at least part-way off the ground, and your confidence in it is pretty much unshakeable. The first stage of action – the bright idea, full of excitement, but with little in the way of practicality – is particularly vulnerable to critics of any stripe;

and/or

2) At the same time as sharing news of your exciting new endeavour, make sure you’re communicating something that makes them feel safe on your behalf. This will help to defuse their urge to criticise. For example: “Hi Uncle Joe, I just lost my job so I’ve decided to train to be an astronaut. The great news is, I’ve saved so much money over the past few years, I could comfortably survive without work until at least 2026! What’s for dinner?”

In short, don’t put your dream on the line to critics in this category until you know that you or they can cope with whatever comes up as a result.

Of course, by far the most painful thing about this type of critic is that – because of who they are in our lives – they are the very people we want to be able to turn to for encouragement. It’s important to recognise that their criticism is borne out of love and genuine concern; but we’re walking into trouble if we actively seek unconditional encouragement from someone who just isn’t in a position to give it.

Of course your parents or partner  are going to be scared stiff if they think you’re about to do the equivalent of jumping out of a plane without a parachute! That’s their job. When you share a dream with someone that close to you – someone who may not be as confident about your chances of success as you are, or as aware of the fact that you’ll learn valuable lessons even if you do fail – you need to bear in mind that they need as much safety and support as you do (possibly more) and you have some responsibility to give it to them.

Here’s where we develop great humility, whether we want to or not!

Action Steps

To cultivate more good critics in your life:

• Make a list of the people in your life who’ve criticised you in ways that have left you feeling expanded, rather than diminished. Consider approaching them and specifically inviting constructive criticism from them whenever you’re ready for it.
• Consider building up your own dream team, and filling it with people who have good ideas and the ability to share them constructively, and also who’ll helpfully challenge you when you need it.
• Consider hiring a mentor or a coach professionally or personally. Any good mentor or coach will be able to offer constructive criticism in ways that help to move you forward without making you feel deflated or stupid.

“I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself.”
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

© Brian Cormack Carr, 2011